To Hold On
by Harmony Goldstar
Summary: Set during Beat the Devil. Cal is safe, and Gillian realizes exactly how close she was to losing him.


**A/N: Another little scene I finally got to type up! Hope you enjoy! **

** Set in Beat the Devil, at the end after Cal and Gillian talk in her office. (That episode with the guy who was obsessed with kidnapping people and drowning them) **

"Cal, I'm glad you're all right." Gillian looked like she was about to cry.

"I know love. It's okay." She walked around her desk and he opened his arms and caught her in a hug. She leaned against his chest and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the tears.

"It's okay love. It's okay," Cal murmured. His face was buried in her hair, and he wasn't sure if she heard him, but she said it anyway.

"Come on Foster, let's go home," Cal said. Reluctantly, Gillian pulled away from him. She left one hand on his arm.

"Can I stay in your guest room tonight?" she asked.

"Of course love. Anything for you."

When Cal left the building moments later, he found Gillian waiting by his car. He half smiled at her, and unlocked the car so she could get in. As soon as Cal started driving, Gillian's warm hand appeared on his leg. He let it stay for almost half the drive, reveling in the warmth and comfort Gill provided. His ordeal with Martin had shaken him more than he cared to admit, and it seemed to have shaken Gillian too. When Cal stopped at a light, he looked over at Gill. She looked sad, and scared and relieved all at the same time.

"Love?" She looked over at him. "Do you mind? Distractions and all," Cal said, glancing down at her hand, which had moved further up his leg.

"Oh, sorry," Gill said, and she moved her hand. She was embarrassed.

"Don't apologize. That's a distraction I could get used to, when I'm not driving that is," Cal said.

"I'll keep that in mind," Gillian replied. So, she was going to get flirty Cal. That was okay; she liked flirty Cal. He made flirty Gillian come out and play.

Emily was at Zoe's tonight, Cal told her. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

When they got to his house, Gill took off her shoes and hung up her coat and bag. Cal tossed his jacket over the back of the couch and made his way into the kitchen.

"Chicken soup love?"

"Sure Cal. Sounds great." Gillian hovered, reaching out and touching his arm or shoulder every now and then, as if she was checking to make sure he was really still there. Cal didn't mind. It helped him to know she was there. Three quarters of an hour later, Cal pulled out a chair for Gillian, and placed a bowl of hot soup in front of her. Instead of crossing to the other side of the table, he sat beside her, placing his left hand on her knee.

As they ate, and talked about anything other than the case they has just solved, Cal's hand made it's way further up Gillian's leg.

She said nothing, enjoying the warmth and solace his touch provided.

They skipped dessert, opting to get ready for bed and then talk for a while about the case. Gillian followed Cal upstairs. He offered her the master bathroom, and she took a shower. Cal grabbed a clean pair of jeans and a clean shirt and went to shower and change in the other bathroom. It took him a while to talk himself into getting under the water, a fact which was completely understandable given what he had just gone through. After he finally got in the shower, he took one of record length, lasting maybe two entire minutes.

He put on his clean clothes and headed downstairs, assuming he would find Gillian in his living room with a glass of some alcoholic beverage or another, but she was nowhere in sight. He slowly climbed the stairs, somewhat confused. Gillian never took very long showers at his place, and he had taken forever. Maybe she had gotten tired of waiting and gone home? No, she wouldn't do that to him. Besides, her car was still at the office.

He stepped into his bedroom and stopped short. There was Gillian, sitting cross legged in the middle of his bed, holding his pillow.

"Gill…," he said.

"Come on Cal. Just for tonight." He stepped forward a few steps, and stopped again. Gill scooted across the bed and reached for his hand. He held it out to her, and she took it. He pulled back the covers and sat down on the edge of the bed. Gill slid over to the other side, providing him plenty of space to lie down. He finally did, and she lay down beside him, hands resting on his.

He tried to stay away, as far over on the bed as possible. He didn't want her to know what he was thinking. She pulled him closer, and seeing what his problem was, she slid away a little bit so he was comfortable with her presence. He put his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes, and Gill slid a little closer.

"It's over Gill," he said. "I'm still here."

"I know. I know," she said. Somehow this time it seemed a lot closer. She was closer to losing him today than she ever had been, and they both knew it.

By the time Cal was asleep, his arms were wrapped around her, and she was as close as she could get. So much for talking about the case, but she would rather watch him sleep than talk about the case. He was glad she was there, otherwise he probably wouldn't have slept at all, and Gillian just held on tight so she wouldn't lose him.


End file.
